Leftovers #3
iNudes
A new study shows that teens who listen to music with sexually explicit lyrics tend to have sex earlier than do teens who listen to Taylor
Hicks/James Blunt mix cd's, who tend instead to just get thrown down sharpened stairs a lot. Sexy music, active sex life? Really? Yeah, the study also showed that teens who listen to Madonna regularly crucify themselves while teens who rock out to KISS are busy turning into cats. Right.
Above: This could one day be your teen.
If only you'd given him a Dave Matthews cd.
Then he'd only have transformed into a frat.
Come on. Are those numbers accurate? All teens do is lie about how sexually active they are. By the time we were 15, according to ourselves, we'd had sex with three dozen bisexual supermodels all of whom inexplicably lived in Canada, or in one imaginative case, French Guiana.
Look though, if you want teens to stop having sex, it's an easy fix. Just start playing David Hasselhoff's "Jump In My Car" video everywhere you go with your teen.
Guaranteed abstinence for life. You get a subdued teen and the monasteries get a new recruit. Win-Win.
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Shilling for your thoughts?
According to BBC News, Mel Gibson now faces some very serious "drink-drive" charges. Drink-drive...how quaint. Come on, England! Drink-drive sounds too cutesy, as if you think drunk driving is vaguely charming in some sort of "irascible sot" way, as long as it's a noble or someone well-to-do in the driver's seat. It sounds like some slightly put-out 19th century constable just discovered Mel's inebriated, sleeping body draped over the harness of his horse drawn carriage which was found by following the trail of run-over Dickensian street urchins.
Constable: Not to worry everyone, it's just Master Gibson what ran over the orphans!
Obligatory Onlooker: Hip hip huzzah!
Then they drink sherry for 12 hours, turn red, and go home.
With that kind of nomenclature, it must be interesting to be accused of crimes in England.
Magistrate: For dismembering your entire family and then eating them, we formally charge you with having committed the atrocious and reprehensible criminal act of "Hack-Hack-Yum-Yum."
England: not necessarily "soft" on crime, but definitely "adorable" on it.
--------------------
Uneventful Horizon
Scientists on a quest to find hidden black holes in the local universe have found surprisingly few and so are conducting a census of them.
A new study shows that teens who listen to music with sexually explicit lyrics tend to have sex earlier than do teens who listen to Taylor
Hicks/James Blunt mix cd's, who tend instead to just get thrown down sharpened stairs a lot. Sexy music, active sex life? Really? Yeah, the study also showed that teens who listen to Madonna regularly crucify themselves while teens who rock out to KISS are busy turning into cats. Right.
Above: This could one day be your teen.
If only you'd given him a Dave Matthews cd.
Then he'd only have transformed into a frat.
Come on. Are those numbers accurate? All teens do is lie about how sexually active they are. By the time we were 15, according to ourselves, we'd had sex with three dozen bisexual supermodels all of whom inexplicably lived in Canada, or in one imaginative case, French Guiana.
Look though, if you want teens to stop having sex, it's an easy fix. Just start playing David Hasselhoff's "Jump In My Car" video everywhere you go with your teen.
Guaranteed abstinence for life. You get a subdued teen and the monasteries get a new recruit. Win-Win.
----------------------
Shilling for your thoughts?
According to BBC News, Mel Gibson now faces some very serious "drink-drive" charges. Drink-drive...how quaint. Come on, England! Drink-drive sounds too cutesy, as if you think drunk driving is vaguely charming in some sort of "irascible sot" way, as long as it's a noble or someone well-to-do in the driver's seat. It sounds like some slightly put-out 19th century constable just discovered Mel's inebriated, sleeping body draped over the harness of his horse drawn carriage which was found by following the trail of run-over Dickensian street urchins.
Constable: Not to worry everyone, it's just Master Gibson what ran over the orphans!
Obligatory Onlooker: Hip hip huzzah!
Then they drink sherry for 12 hours, turn red, and go home.
With that kind of nomenclature, it must be interesting to be accused of crimes in England.
Magistrate: For dismembering your entire family and then eating them, we formally charge you with having committed the atrocious and reprehensible criminal act of "Hack-Hack-Yum-Yum."
England: not necessarily "soft" on crime, but definitely "adorable" on it.
--------------------
Uneventful Horizon
Scientists on a quest to find hidden black holes in the local universe have found surprisingly few and so are conducting a census of them.
posted by The Crespo at 9:19 AM
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