Pat Robertson Claims to Leg-Press a Ton
Seriously. Report courtesy of CNN.com and AP Newswire.
You know, a little while ago on these very pages I wrote a brief article titled Pat Robertson Quotes Taken from Previously Unpublished 700 Club Transcripts. Now I must add another to that list:
"God works in mysterious ways. Take me for example. God gave me the strength of a thousand radioactive ants, all in my legs and maybe my abdomen. A 76-year-old man! Plus, I think I can fly. And, when I squint, I get double vision, so I know I can clone things instantly. My hearing's not as good as it used to be but I more than make up for that with the heat-seeking missiles that no doubt shoot forth from my fingers and toes. Haven't tried that yet. Waiting for something big. But I'm puting the Unitarians on alert. Fire from my digits! Fire from my digits!"
You know, a little while ago on these very pages I wrote a brief article titled Pat Robertson Quotes Taken from Previously Unpublished 700 Club Transcripts. Now I must add another to that list:
"God works in mysterious ways. Take me for example. God gave me the strength of a thousand radioactive ants, all in my legs and maybe my abdomen. A 76-year-old man! Plus, I think I can fly. And, when I squint, I get double vision, so I know I can clone things instantly. My hearing's not as good as it used to be but I more than make up for that with the heat-seeking missiles that no doubt shoot forth from my fingers and toes. Haven't tried that yet. Waiting for something big. But I'm puting the Unitarians on alert. Fire from my digits! Fire from my digits!"
posted by Francesco Marciuliano at 9:07 AM
subscribe to the drink at work newsletter
6 Comments:
heh.
uh... Wow. Wow. just...WOW.
I can't wait for the workout video. I want to see this guy in leg-warmers
on behalf of all unitarians everywhere, I'd like to say:
BRING IT!!
I heard that Jerry Fallwell can eat 9 jars of mayonnaise in 12 minutes. Ralph Reed can shoot ping-pong balls from his genitalia. And James Dobson can magically travel to the World Before Gays.
I heard that Jerry Fallwell can eat 9 jars of mayonnaise in 12 minutes. Ralph Reed can shoot ping-pong balls from his genitalia. And James Dobson can magically travel to the World Before Gays.
"But he acknowledged that the way he leg-presses would not be legal in a bodybuilding competition."
I wonder what his methods are? 5 cherubim and seraphim on each side helping, or stacking the weights on a pile of dead gay men and South American dictators?
We Episcopals are taught how to lift our wallets towards the plate at a very early age.
Post a Comment
<< Home