Chez GuevaraA Revolution in Dining

CHEZ GUEVARA'S MISSION STATEMENT

Here at Chez Guevara, the customer is always right, because our customers are also our employees. And since the workers control the means of production here, if your meal isn't prepared just right or the service is less than satisfactory, you have no one to blame but the proletariat, of which you are a glorious part.

Although we do support and encourage the "unwashed masses" to take up arms against their oppressors, we do abide by state laws requiring employees to wash hands regularly. (T.F.C.C. §523.1.1(a))

We can not legally request that they shower or bathe however. (T.F.C.C. §523.1.1(b))

That is why Chez Guevara is fully stocked with scented candles. And what do those candles smell like, comrades? Why, FREEDOM®, of course. Precious, precious FREEDOM®.*


* Please note that while freedom is not free, neither are FREEDOM® candles, but at only $10 a candle, with all the money you’ll be saving, you’ll be able to launch enough petitions to Congress that you can practically dismantle the machinery of capitalism all by your collective self.

CHEZ GUEVARA MENU

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People's Poultry
A savory free range chicken, braised in the revolutionary fires of the indominatable human spirit and stuffed generously (but not greedily) with a cranberry-lime putinesca. Comes with a side of organically grown downtrodden. $45.00

Malaise-Seared Sturgeon Oppressed in Bouillabaisse
This shockingly resigned-to-its-fate, yet succulent fresh water catch has found itself imprisoned in the creamily comforting yet dangerously dictatorial-to-the-taste-buds bouillabaisse sauce we have purchased from one of the many restaurant chains currently defining the bland, uninventive world of the Culinary-Industrial Complex. The Bouillabaisse Oppressé was created indirectly by the sturgeon’s own lack of participation in local flavor elections and by allowing discrimination of other, less savory flavors. Wolfgang Puck said of this dish, “When the critics came for Chez Guevara’s Crème Brule, I remained silent; I was not a fan of Brule. When they came for their Lentil, I remained silent; I was not a Lentil eater. Then they came for the sturgeon, and by that time no one was left to speak up. Except me—It’s delicious!” $52.00 (comes with fries for some reason)

Guerilla Biftec Flambe
No, it's not a two meat combination dish, but the uprising of flavors created by our state university trained chefs will certainly make you believe you're eating a number of delicious meaty entrees. All of our cows from which our beef is derived are abducted under cover of darkness from the vast, homogeneous ranches of agri-businesses and then forced to march for leagues with our revolutionary staff to our secret culinary headquarters. The cow who arrives at h.q. with the most strength remaining is then chosen for slaughter based on the assumption it must have been lourding extra grazing unfairly from the other cows, who are then freed outright. $68.00

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And don't forget to check out our sister
restaurant for vegetarians, "SALIDARITY"
now open for business.

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