Amsterdam...but Without the Dutch
Mexico Relaxes Drug Laws
Users Celebrate, Forget Where They Parked
MEXICO CITY—Mexico’s Congress officially passed a law that would decriminalize the possession of small amounts of illegal drugs, keeping the use of such drugs theoretically against the law but no longer "getting all up in your face about it," according to Chief of Federal Police Eduardo Medina Mora, who issued the decree shortly after self-administering Visine Clear Eye drops.
Following the recommendations of a congressional committee that a more-tolerant drug policy would gain greater credibility among the ever hard-to-please youth, the government unveiled its "Don't Cash the Bowl, Man" campaign to thunderous "woahs."
The campaign—funded by the occasional temp job, a few local band gigs and some money a proponent's dad gave him to buy resume paper—hopes to send a credible message about drug abuse. Exactly how it plans to do so remains a mystery, however, since most of the campaign appears to have been written in one sitting, with a crayon, on the back of two veggie burrito menus, a free weekly newspaper and a fistful of EZ rolling papers and "Earn Big Bucks Stuffing Envelopes" handouts.
Officials from the U.S. State Department and White House’s drug control office were quick to express their grave reservations about the law, citing that Mexico would almost certainly experience the same dreadful social consequences England faced three years ago when Parliament relaxed marijuana laws.
"No one ever remembered to return a phone call in Britain," said Tom Riley, a spokesman for the U.S. Office of National Drug Control Policy. "Neighbors went on and on about how beautiful some stupid moth they saw three weeks ago was. Television viewers thought the characters on 'Coronation Street' are actually watching them instead. And just try to find an unopened bag of crisps in that country."
U.S. officials also fear that any move toward decriminalization would make Mexico a veritable haven for drug tourism, especially visiting U.S. college students. Mexico’s President Vicente Fox was quick to disagree.
“American undergraduates come to Mexico on spring break for three reasons,” stated Mr. Fox. “To immerse themselves in Mayan history, to get a firsthand look at our growing technology and outsourcing industries and to pay their respects to Our Lady of Guadalupe.”
Mr. Medina Mora also stressed that the new policy was not tantamount to an official condonation of excessive drug use, stating, "In fact, the whole point of the policy is to educate students and users alike that moderation is the key. We're talking slices here, not whole pies. For example, imagine if the world were a pizza. Uh...I mean, if you were the pizza...No, no...umm...the world! The world is definitely a pizza! Is that freakin' awesome or what?!" The Chief of Federal Police then became fascinated with the dirt under his fingernails.
In other developments, Tijuana and Ciudad Juárez both experienced a remarkable 12,000% increase in revenues since the law passed, although officials from the two cities attributed the economic boost to their new aquariums and sale of lacquered goods.—DAW.com Newswire
Users Celebrate, Forget Where They Parked
MEXICO CITY—Mexico’s Congress officially passed a law that would decriminalize the possession of small amounts of illegal drugs, keeping the use of such drugs theoretically against the law but no longer "getting all up in your face about it," according to Chief of Federal Police Eduardo Medina Mora, who issued the decree shortly after self-administering Visine Clear Eye drops.
Following the recommendations of a congressional committee that a more-tolerant drug policy would gain greater credibility among the ever hard-to-please youth, the government unveiled its "Don't Cash the Bowl, Man" campaign to thunderous "woahs."
The campaign—funded by the occasional temp job, a few local band gigs and some money a proponent's dad gave him to buy resume paper—hopes to send a credible message about drug abuse. Exactly how it plans to do so remains a mystery, however, since most of the campaign appears to have been written in one sitting, with a crayon, on the back of two veggie burrito menus, a free weekly newspaper and a fistful of EZ rolling papers and "Earn Big Bucks Stuffing Envelopes" handouts.
Officials from the U.S. State Department and White House’s drug control office were quick to express their grave reservations about the law, citing that Mexico would almost certainly experience the same dreadful social consequences England faced three years ago when Parliament relaxed marijuana laws.
"No one ever remembered to return a phone call in Britain," said Tom Riley, a spokesman for the U.S. Office of National Drug Control Policy. "Neighbors went on and on about how beautiful some stupid moth they saw three weeks ago was. Television viewers thought the characters on 'Coronation Street' are actually watching them instead. And just try to find an unopened bag of crisps in that country."
U.S. officials also fear that any move toward decriminalization would make Mexico a veritable haven for drug tourism, especially visiting U.S. college students. Mexico’s President Vicente Fox was quick to disagree.
“American undergraduates come to Mexico on spring break for three reasons,” stated Mr. Fox. “To immerse themselves in Mayan history, to get a firsthand look at our growing technology and outsourcing industries and to pay their respects to Our Lady of Guadalupe.”
Mr. Medina Mora also stressed that the new policy was not tantamount to an official condonation of excessive drug use, stating, "In fact, the whole point of the policy is to educate students and users alike that moderation is the key. We're talking slices here, not whole pies. For example, imagine if the world were a pizza. Uh...I mean, if you were the pizza...No, no...umm...the world! The world is definitely a pizza! Is that freakin' awesome or what?!" The Chief of Federal Police then became fascinated with the dirt under his fingernails.
In other developments, Tijuana and Ciudad Juárez both experienced a remarkable 12,000% increase in revenues since the law passed, although officials from the two cities attributed the economic boost to their new aquariums and sale of lacquered goods.—DAW.com Newswire
posted by Francesco Marciuliano at 10:06 AM
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