My Next Career Move
This past Friday, I had an epiphany concerning my career. It occurred over drinks with some co-workers. If things don’t work out with my current job and I can’t ever scrape together a living peddling my writings, I have options. Maybe one day I’ll realize that writing for blogs only pays my ego and not my bills. It is then and only then that I will embark on my fourth career. I will become an agent. It’s a logical next step really, those who can’t do, pimp out the talents of others. My area of expertise would be adult films. I think there’s a hole in that market, no pun intended, for an Asian film star. I’m giving the day job a few more years at least but when the time does come to don my agent’s cap, I’ll be ready.
Here’s how my Craig’s List ad will read:
Calling Mr. Ling. Mr. Dang Ling to the set.
Wanted! Asian male with considerable assets. And by assets, I don’t mean a house in the hills and a Rolls in the driveway, I’m talking the ability to really bring it. Me. I’m a talent-less but aggressive and belligerent psychopath who doesn’t take no for an answer. Don’t worry, it’s more than likely that you could overpower me if push comes to shove but the only pushing going on around here will be by you. You’re my client, I’m your agent. That’s how it works. Let’s put the Asian in Invasion if you know what I’m saying. If that didn’t make any sense to you, then please, you’re not right for the position (no pun intended again).
Allow me to transform you into the first Asian Adult Film Star to be taken seriously in the states. Let’s bring the crossover.
Requirements:
- Hot to trot
- Has seen Boogie Nights
- Thinks Burt Reynolds is a God
- Has no family ties that own DVD players, VCRs, or have access to broadband internet access
Job location is Your Pants, USA
Compensation: Huge
Hiring Organization: On a Need to Know Basis
No – Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster. Get your own damned cash cow.
No – Please, no phone calls about this job!
No – Reposting this message elsewhere is not okay. Unless of course it is on the Port Authority’s Men’s Room Stall.
Here’s how my Craig’s List ad will read:
Calling Mr. Ling. Mr. Dang Ling to the set.
Wanted! Asian male with considerable assets. And by assets, I don’t mean a house in the hills and a Rolls in the driveway, I’m talking the ability to really bring it. Me. I’m a talent-less but aggressive and belligerent psychopath who doesn’t take no for an answer. Don’t worry, it’s more than likely that you could overpower me if push comes to shove but the only pushing going on around here will be by you. You’re my client, I’m your agent. That’s how it works. Let’s put the Asian in Invasion if you know what I’m saying. If that didn’t make any sense to you, then please, you’re not right for the position (no pun intended again).
Allow me to transform you into the first Asian Adult Film Star to be taken seriously in the states. Let’s bring the crossover.
Requirements:
- Hot to trot
- Has seen Boogie Nights
- Thinks Burt Reynolds is a God
- Has no family ties that own DVD players, VCRs, or have access to broadband internet access
Job location is Your Pants, USA
Compensation: Huge
Hiring Organization: On a Need to Know Basis
No – Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster. Get your own damned cash cow.
No – Please, no phone calls about this job!
No – Reposting this message elsewhere is not okay. Unless of course it is on the Port Authority’s Men’s Room Stall.