Makin' the Babies
I expect that at some point in the next twenty years, I will get notice that I'm going to be a father. That of course, is assuming that I am not unknowingly already a father and that if I am not, when the time comes my boys will be able to swim furiously and take it strong to the rack. If not, I'll just have more disposable income and spend it on toys and motorcycles and beer. Without kids, I wouldn't have to be a responsible parent; I could just be their alcohol abusing, freeloading, high rolling uncle. Assuming however that I won't be able to do my Tom Hanks as crazy uncle guest appearance on Family Ties and would lean more towards the role of Steven Keaton — the father of a young arrogant Republican — there's got to be some sort of option for me to remain sane, despite an outward fatherly appearance.
How can one all of a sudden drop the fantasy baseball leagues, cancel the subscriptions to multiple movie channels, turn the office into an "oopsie" room and bring the baby cavalcade into town? I'd imagine it's traumatic. Right now, one of the biggest concerns I have is that I can't wear sneakers to work. So how am I going to be able to show off my rad new Pumas? Furthermore, if the rad Pumas are sitting in my closet for no one to see them are they still totally rad? Add on questions like, "Am I a good father?" and "Will my child be well adjusted?" and I'm already sweating bullets! I have a dog for pete's sake and that dog is a handful. Where is a man to go?
Yesterday though, I entered a brave new world. My good buddy Matt Tobey has teamed up with Zac from Datawhat to form BabyRoadies. Baby Roadies is a blog for fathers and fathers to be that want to remain tragically hip and funny. Well not necessarily tragically hip and funny but they'd at least like to feel they have some dignity and weren't forced to check their testicles at the reception desk while shopping for cribs, diapers, toys and all that nonsense. Eventually, they're going to be holding a diaper bag over their shoulder like Paris Hilton lugging around her Chihuahua so they'd like to keep their dignity.
The idea behind babyroadies is that there really isn't any parenting site out there catering to dads that aren't tools. Everything is geared towards telling moms how to get the job done which then results in the kids loving their moms as they grow up and seeing their dads as these mopes that sit around in the lounge chair and do their best to drown out the sounds. Not anymore!!! Now dads can be cool, rad and informed all at the same time.
Huzzah for babyroadies! May you live forever!
Oh yeah, and here's the passage that is sort of their mission statement on the site:
Henry Rollins said that. A parenting blog inspired by Henry Rollins? Jesus Christ, that has to be fucking awesome!
How can one all of a sudden drop the fantasy baseball leagues, cancel the subscriptions to multiple movie channels, turn the office into an "oopsie" room and bring the baby cavalcade into town? I'd imagine it's traumatic. Right now, one of the biggest concerns I have is that I can't wear sneakers to work. So how am I going to be able to show off my rad new Pumas? Furthermore, if the rad Pumas are sitting in my closet for no one to see them are they still totally rad? Add on questions like, "Am I a good father?" and "Will my child be well adjusted?" and I'm already sweating bullets! I have a dog for pete's sake and that dog is a handful. Where is a man to go?
Yesterday though, I entered a brave new world. My good buddy Matt Tobey has teamed up with Zac from Datawhat to form BabyRoadies. Baby Roadies is a blog for fathers and fathers to be that want to remain tragically hip and funny. Well not necessarily tragically hip and funny but they'd at least like to feel they have some dignity and weren't forced to check their testicles at the reception desk while shopping for cribs, diapers, toys and all that nonsense. Eventually, they're going to be holding a diaper bag over their shoulder like Paris Hilton lugging around her Chihuahua so they'd like to keep their dignity.
The idea behind babyroadies is that there really isn't any parenting site out there catering to dads that aren't tools. Everything is geared towards telling moms how to get the job done which then results in the kids loving their moms as they grow up and seeing their dads as these mopes that sit around in the lounge chair and do their best to drown out the sounds. Not anymore!!! Now dads can be cool, rad and informed all at the same time.
Huzzah for babyroadies! May you live forever!
Oh yeah, and here's the passage that is sort of their mission statement on the site:
Have you seen parents at airports? They just become, like, baby roadies. Like a truckload of gear, for a nine pound thing. Like "Who's the Rock Star?" It is this big, it shits itself, and the guy has like: Hip Pack. Fanny Pack. Front Pack. Back Pack. And he's like walking around with all the diapers and all this shit and the woman's like "ugggggg" and they have Sherpa guides behind them holding packages: "Ho-We-Oh. We-Ohhhh-oh." "Where are you guys going?" "We're loading the baby and entourage onto the plane."
Henry Rollins said that. A parenting blog inspired by Henry Rollins? Jesus Christ, that has to be fucking awesome!