Excerpts from "Acting Up! 25 Great Monologues for Horror Movie Cliches"

Also available from the Acting Up! series:
“50 Dramatic Scenes for Martial Arts Tournament Underdogs” and “35 Humorous Interludes for Robot Armies from a Post Apocalyptic Future”

18-22, Man
Gary is an orphan who spent most of his youth being transferred from one unloving home to another. Abandonment issues have continually forced him to push the women in his life away when they get too close. As the monologue opens, Gary is trying to convince his latest girlfriend, Karen, to stay with him while he works through his lack of emotional availability. Also, Gary is a wolfman.

Gary

Karen, you know I’d never do anything to risk my, our, OUR relationship. Not on purpose. But I can’t help who I am. If I’m tough to reach, well, there’s a reason for that, you know. But I’m trying. You have to believe me when I tell you I know that without you I’d be lost. Hey, remember that night in Alburquerque? You do. The hot tub? Yeah. The front desk guy at the motel had to call the police. Everyone thought you were in pain. If only they knew…See you’re laughing. Hey, look, I know the last few months have been rocky for us, I know I’ve been, well, aloof, to say the least, but I’m going to get my act together---god I sound like a cliché—you know what I mean. Look, I love you. There I said it. I love you, I’ve always loved you, and I always will love you. And in your heart, you know that to be—Hold on, was I supposed to set my clock back yesterday?
(turns into wolf, devours Karen)

20-25, Man
Lenny is a tough guy from the Bronx, a high school drop out, and a reluctant hero. Having managed to raise his two younger brothers almost completely on his own while watching out for his widowed alcoholic mother, Lenny’s paternal role is the family’s main source of hope as well as friction. As the monologue opens, Lenny is chastising his younger siblings, Stu and D.J. for falling in with a local gang. Also, Lenny is a vampire.

Lenny

You think this is a game? This. That this apartment you live in pays for itself? I pay for it. You think your school work doesn’t matter. Well, it does. You think mom’s going to snap out of her boozing some day? Well she’s not. Lemme tell you something, if you join up with the Los Locos, or the Demolition Crew, or the Bowery Boyz, or any of those other gangs, you’re selling your futures down the river, and mine with them. And for what? You two have to learn to respect—Argh! Who left that blind up?
(disintegrates into ash)

25-30, Christine
Christine is a bright red, possessed 1958 Plymouth Fury. Also, she is a classic.

Christine

Vroom! I’m possessed and from 1958! Vroom!
(runs over casting director)