Editorial Note
Nick Jezarian's Tangential Stupidity will not appear today because the author is on vacation...or the lam. We're not quite sure which it is. Frankly, it's probably best we don't know for legal purposes.
So in his column's place we now post the following "classic" (read: re-used content) Drink at Work.com segment, just in time for St. Patrick's Day. Enjoy.
IRISH ROCK'EM SOCK'EM ROBOTS
Watch the Guinness and blood flow in equal measure as these two glazed-eyed Gaelics fight each other in the name of…well, okay, that part remains a little fuzzy. We've replaced the typical boxing arena with a cozy pub (your choice of "The Lacerated Lamb" or "The Immolated Terrier") and exchanged the red and blue robots for the all-too-colorful Seamus and Other Seamus. To start, simply select one of the three following rummy remarks: "More men have been inside your mum than in Trinity College," "I wanted a go at your sister but Maureen Siobhan Mackenzie doubled her rates" or "It’s five o'clock! Who wants some?!" Then sit back and enjoy as the soused Seamuses go at it with the ferocity of a heavyweight fighter and the accuracy of a blind, palsy archer. After several minutes of mercilessly and mistakenly pummeling walls, stools, soccer memorabilia and a wholly startled Father Seamus O'Reilly, the Celtic cutups will break into tears, embrace, cry out "Jesus, what are we fighting for?!" and order a round of drinks for the house, all while singing that beloved Irish ballad, "Christ, I'm So Hungry I Could Eat My Own Feet But Then I Couldn't Outrun The Rats."
So in his column's place we now post the following "classic" (read: re-used content) Drink at Work.com segment, just in time for St. Patrick's Day. Enjoy.
IRISH ROCK'EM SOCK'EM ROBOTS
Watch the Guinness and blood flow in equal measure as these two glazed-eyed Gaelics fight each other in the name of…well, okay, that part remains a little fuzzy. We've replaced the typical boxing arena with a cozy pub (your choice of "The Lacerated Lamb" or "The Immolated Terrier") and exchanged the red and blue robots for the all-too-colorful Seamus and Other Seamus. To start, simply select one of the three following rummy remarks: "More men have been inside your mum than in Trinity College," "I wanted a go at your sister but Maureen Siobhan Mackenzie doubled her rates" or "It’s five o'clock! Who wants some?!" Then sit back and enjoy as the soused Seamuses go at it with the ferocity of a heavyweight fighter and the accuracy of a blind, palsy archer. After several minutes of mercilessly and mistakenly pummeling walls, stools, soccer memorabilia and a wholly startled Father Seamus O'Reilly, the Celtic cutups will break into tears, embrace, cry out "Jesus, what are we fighting for?!" and order a round of drinks for the house, all while singing that beloved Irish ballad, "Christ, I'm So Hungry I Could Eat My Own Feet But Then I Couldn't Outrun The Rats."
posted by Francesco Marciuliano at 12:13 PM
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1 Comments:
dammit...I'm laughing so hard I'm crying, which only goes to show how close to home this one hits
with a redheaded mother from Boston, I have close family members who could easily be either of the Seamus(es) in your story
as for your Irish ballad...I think I know that one--we sing it at weddings and wakes
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