Censored White House Emails on Hurricane Katrina--Revealed
Today the Bush Administration declined to turn over certain documents or any executive branch communications regarding Hurricane Katrina, thereby greatly hampering two Congressional committees currently reviewing the White House's response to the catastrophe.
However, thanks to a source we can only refer to as "easily outwitted," we at Drink at Work.com have come in possession of the following excerpts, taken from email exchanges held between White House staff and associates in the aftermath of the storm:
* Trent Lott repeatedly laments, "Why couldn't Katrina have hit one of them Jew states instead?"
* Scott Mclellan advised to deal with suddenly inquisitive press by placing his belt on a hook and pointing to it whenever a reporter gets "uppity."
* President Bush commences tangential email conversation regarding night at Pat O'Brien's when he snorted cocaine off the body of a woman he swears was already dead when he got there.
* Republican-associated lobbyist introduces abbreviation "PIPWJ" (Pissing in Pants with Joy) upon learning gas had hit $3.85 a gallon.
* Karl Rove inadvertently hits "Reply All" when expressing relief storm has literally washed away any evidence of his French Quarter gay liaison.
* Dick Cheney suggests eradicating problem at its core by demanding Rand McNally remove any and all references to the prior existence of Louisiana.
* Voluminous messages rhapsodizing on heyday of Joey Heatherton and Angie Dickinson.
* Mike Brown forwards email from Nigerian consulate offering to transfer $42 million adding, "Relief is on the way!"
* No one seems to recall inviting Democrats to participate in federal relief actions.
* Executive branch email to all Republicans addressing public states, "'Levee' is the name of the embankments that broke in New Orleans. 'Levar' is the name of the actor who played Geordi on Star Trek: The Next Generation. We regret the error."
However, thanks to a source we can only refer to as "easily outwitted," we at Drink at Work.com have come in possession of the following excerpts, taken from email exchanges held between White House staff and associates in the aftermath of the storm:
* Trent Lott repeatedly laments, "Why couldn't Katrina have hit one of them Jew states instead?"
* Scott Mclellan advised to deal with suddenly inquisitive press by placing his belt on a hook and pointing to it whenever a reporter gets "uppity."
* President Bush commences tangential email conversation regarding night at Pat O'Brien's when he snorted cocaine off the body of a woman he swears was already dead when he got there.
* Republican-associated lobbyist introduces abbreviation "PIPWJ" (Pissing in Pants with Joy) upon learning gas had hit $3.85 a gallon.
* Karl Rove inadvertently hits "Reply All" when expressing relief storm has literally washed away any evidence of his French Quarter gay liaison.
* Dick Cheney suggests eradicating problem at its core by demanding Rand McNally remove any and all references to the prior existence of Louisiana.
* Voluminous messages rhapsodizing on heyday of Joey Heatherton and Angie Dickinson.
* Mike Brown forwards email from Nigerian consulate offering to transfer $42 million adding, "Relief is on the way!"
* No one seems to recall inviting Democrats to participate in federal relief actions.
* Executive branch email to all Republicans addressing public states, "'Levee' is the name of the embankments that broke in New Orleans. 'Levar' is the name of the actor who played Geordi on Star Trek: The Next Generation. We regret the error."
posted by Francesco Marciuliano at 3:15 PM
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2 Comments:
Damns?
Did they include the one where they announced the DeLay/Abramoff New Orleans Golf Tournament and French Quarter Pub Crawl will be postponed and relocated once a suitable source of hookers could be located?
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