Children's Responses To Receiving a Misfit Toy for Christmas

"Tommy in class was right. My family is poor."

"Why does this dolly seem so sad? She looks perfectly...Oh God...OH GOD! WHY WON'T IT STOP BLEEDING?!?..."

"It shoots Jelly?!? If I wanted a gun that left a permanent stain I would have gotten my dad's pistol out of the closet."

"I don't remember asking for a fabulous cowboy."

"Who knew changing the name of a Charlie-in-the-box to Jack would cost $18,000 in legal fees?"

"The boat won't float, the train won't work on my track and the plane won't stop lighting fires."

"I don't know what's worse--the stuffed elephant with smallpox or the teddy bear with typhoid."

"Shove it back in the box and punch a few airholes. We are so regifting this bird."

"You know what wouldn't bitch in verse about being handicapped? A video game system!"

"Apparently Santa thinks we're not Christian enough."


To find out everything you ever wanted to know about the making of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer click here.