Dear NYC Comedians:
I go to a lot of comedy shows and I have a great sense of humor. I can ALWAYS laugh at myself. If you've got a joke about white girls from Alabama who now live in New York and complain about how they can never find good okra, grits or biscuits, I'm the girl you want in the audience. I will laugh at that joke.
However, on many occasions I've noticed some of you comedians scoring easy laughs with lazy jokes about Alabama or the South in general, and frankly it pisses me off to no end. And it's not simply because I'm from Alabama, it's because I'm a comedy fan and I know you can do better. For the most part, those of you who I've seen do this have previously demonstrated your ability to create intelligent material. But when it comes to these Southern jokes, you shit the bed. I guess you just occasionally like to take a moment to knock one out of the park for your open-minded-about-everything-except-those-people Lower East Side audience. But could you maybe sort of try actually writing a joke rather than just saying the name of a state? Yes, I know it's an instant laugh to say "Alabama" to a room full of barrista/improv students who've never actually been there, but I thought you downtown comedians were edgier than that. You know, less whorish.
It's not that I object to your making a joke about the South. I mean, come on, there's LOTS of great jokes to make about the South. Judge Roy Moore — the 10 Commandments in the courthouse guy — is running for governor of Alabama for christ's sake. It's right there, you lazy bastards, read a paper!
So, to set the record straight: Your southern cab driver was not toothless. You can get a medical or law degree in Birmingham. Alabamians do not hold regular book burnings. And though there is still plenty of racism in the south, I have two words for you: Long Island. So do me and everyone else a favor and stop being such bitches.
Yours,
Carol
However, on many occasions I've noticed some of you comedians scoring easy laughs with lazy jokes about Alabama or the South in general, and frankly it pisses me off to no end. And it's not simply because I'm from Alabama, it's because I'm a comedy fan and I know you can do better. For the most part, those of you who I've seen do this have previously demonstrated your ability to create intelligent material. But when it comes to these Southern jokes, you shit the bed. I guess you just occasionally like to take a moment to knock one out of the park for your open-minded-about-everything-except-those-people Lower East Side audience. But could you maybe sort of try actually writing a joke rather than just saying the name of a state? Yes, I know it's an instant laugh to say "Alabama" to a room full of barrista/improv students who've never actually been there, but I thought you downtown comedians were edgier than that. You know, less whorish.
It's not that I object to your making a joke about the South. I mean, come on, there's LOTS of great jokes to make about the South. Judge Roy Moore — the 10 Commandments in the courthouse guy — is running for governor of Alabama for christ's sake. It's right there, you lazy bastards, read a paper!
So, to set the record straight: Your southern cab driver was not toothless. You can get a medical or law degree in Birmingham. Alabamians do not hold regular book burnings. And though there is still plenty of racism in the south, I have two words for you: Long Island. So do me and everyone else a favor and stop being such bitches.
Yours,
Carol
posted by Carol at 1:00 PM
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11 Comments:
Hear Hear!
- comedy fan from TN
Also, you forgot to mention that we do, in fact, all own and wear shoes.
dang...I knew I left something out
"...do not hold regular book burnings."
Nice touch.
"your open-minded-about-everything-accept[sic]-those-people Lower East Side audience"
OMG. You wrote "accept" rather than "except". Look at the Southernern making a typo! Hahahahah. You guys are sub-literate troglodytes. Nobody but a Southerner makes spelling and grammar errors. In NYC even the graffiti has proofreaders.
Well, I'm off to write New Yorker copy while solving a Rubik's Cube with my feet.
AUGHHHHHH! I hate me so much. Revision about to be made, uh, y'all.
Jeff Foxworthy (who is an electrical engineer from Georgia Tech) says that the minute people hear a Southern accent, they spot you ten IQ points.
I prefer to ridicule Pennsyltuckians.
Specific Whinologogy of the highest order.
The problem isn't making jokes about toofless Cooters in wife-beaters who eat biscuits with gravy and jam (Unless you're Carol?).
The problem is not being funny.
The same kinds of jokes are told about Yankees, Californians, Serbo-Croats, and even drinkers.
So don't worry that your holler is being mocked, worry that some venues pay sucky comics who go for easy laughs.
Jeez.. does everyone in the world have to turn general problems into ones about their little (inbred and whiskey-soaked) points of origin?
;-p
Coincidentally, a local bull-ogger (albeit in her corporate-sponsored forum) made a similar mini-rant recently: http://www.jsonline.com/news/site/weblogs.asp?id=60&entry=11168
Carol, thank you for using the perfect Alabama phrase "shit the bed" in this rant(I mean post). I can't imagine anyone from NYNY saying 'shit the bed'. I have had to explain this phrase to many 'outsiders'.You are the perfect NY southern girl. And for those of us in the Magic City, thanks for the props. You know where your roots are.
Rod
p.s. If Moore gets elected, I may need some help getting a crib up there.
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