Ninth through Sixteenth Rules of Fight Club

Ninth Rule: Each member must call the next person on the phone list to alert them to upcoming meetings. This can only work if we all do our part, people.

Tenth Rule: Be mindful of others. Send fellow members cards for birthdays, flowers for engagement announcements and regards for the passing of loved ones. By remembering what you can do for others, others will recall your kindness, and perhaps be less inclined to maim you.

Eleventh Rule: Show up at each meeting with at least three good ideas on how to improve our operations. Remember, an organization can only grow when it feeds on ingenuity.

Twelfth Rule: Jeans are for the farm, not for Fight Club. A lack of concern about your own appearance betrays a lack of regard for your opponent.

Thirteenth Rule: Make it a point to arrive at least 10 to 20 minutes early to introduce yourself to new members. Use the circumstances of the gathering as an icebreaker. Then ask how they know the host or prepared their avocado dip.

Fourteenth Rule: Avoid raising your voice, using derogatory language or hiding change in your fist.

Fifteenth Rule: While there is indeed an "I" in "Fight," there is none in "Club." Leave your ego at the door or by the suture kit.

Sixteenth Rule: When fighting an individual of Asian descent, remember it is considered appropriate to first present him with a gift. Great ceremonial significance is ascribed to the exchange of presents in the Pacific Rim and it is essential that you familiarize yourself with such cultural nuances.