The Future as We Saw It
Many of you may not know this, but Drink at Work.com had a storied existence long before its current Web inception. Sure, we’ve operated under different names ("Drink at Work Magazine," "Drink at Work Zine," "Cherry Popper"). But we’ve always been there, providing both up-to-the-minute supposed humor as well as farsighted predictions about the future of society in general.
In fact, just recently we unearthed a treasure trove of such previous "news forecasts," shortly after we were informed that our payments had lapsed on our Mini Storage unit and either we remove our archives immediately or watch 35 years of publishing become "by products" for cat food. We thought it would be fun to look back and see just how close our prognostications were. We thought wrong. But damn if we’re going to let all those man-hours go to waste so please enjoy the following "So-Close Predictions" from your friends at Drink at Work.com:
In 1985, Vanessa Williams will be forced to relinquish her crown, thereby ending her long and troubled reign as Queen of England.
In 1988, the California Raisins will sweep the nation, then Canada and finally Mexico, assuming complete control of North America by August.
In 1993, President Bill Clinton will sign the Brady Bill, ensuring continuous economic support for Florence Henderson, Eve Plumb and Barry Williams.
In 1994, a leading sports figure will be charged with multiple homicide, leading many to wonder how things could have gone so horribly wrong for the Philadelphia Phanatic.
In 1981, music television will come to cable, signifying the electrifying return of Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme.
In 1989, the Berlin Wall will be torn down, replaced with an invisible force field and heavily armed cyborg guards.
In 1997, the movie "Titanic" will shatter all records, becoming the most successful direct-to-video film to date.
In 1991, the Cold War will finally come to an end, as we all hail our new world leaders, the Dutch.
In fact, just recently we unearthed a treasure trove of such previous "news forecasts," shortly after we were informed that our payments had lapsed on our Mini Storage unit and either we remove our archives immediately or watch 35 years of publishing become "by products" for cat food. We thought it would be fun to look back and see just how close our prognostications were. We thought wrong. But damn if we’re going to let all those man-hours go to waste so please enjoy the following "So-Close Predictions" from your friends at Drink at Work.com:
In 1985, Vanessa Williams will be forced to relinquish her crown, thereby ending her long and troubled reign as Queen of England.
In 1988, the California Raisins will sweep the nation, then Canada and finally Mexico, assuming complete control of North America by August.
In 1993, President Bill Clinton will sign the Brady Bill, ensuring continuous economic support for Florence Henderson, Eve Plumb and Barry Williams.
In 1994, a leading sports figure will be charged with multiple homicide, leading many to wonder how things could have gone so horribly wrong for the Philadelphia Phanatic.
In 1981, music television will come to cable, signifying the electrifying return of Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme.
In 1989, the Berlin Wall will be torn down, replaced with an invisible force field and heavily armed cyborg guards.
In 1997, the movie "Titanic" will shatter all records, becoming the most successful direct-to-video film to date.
In 1991, the Cold War will finally come to an end, as we all hail our new world leaders, the Dutch.
posted by Francesco Marciuliano at 9:40 AM
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