Ten Little-Known Facts about Karl Rove

Hatred of gay community stems from long-ago unanswered "mash note" to Tab Hunter.

Wanted rock group "Foreigner" deported, 70's soft-rock combo "America" given full security access.

So remarkably racist he refers to chocolate-vanilla swirl ice cream as "miscegenation."

Wants to replace evolution teaching with creationism, literature courses with bible studies and gym with labor camps.

Hopes to enhance Republican Party tactics with drive-by shootings.

Nipples get hard whenever a book is burned.

Secretly wants Bush to call him "Sideous."

Old supposed Boy Scout uniform actually sports words "German Workers Party" on patch.

Often can't remember if we're fighting Oceania or Eurasia.

If last petal falls off rose he will be doomed to remain a beast forever.


And as the Reverend Billy Graham's prepares for what might be his last, ahem, "crusade" here in New York City, we offer you:

Sure Signs Your Family Worships the Wrong God