"I'm a fucking retarded English major"
Another review hot off the presses:
"But back to the point, Marciuliano's weblog is like the Zen of Art Buchwald, if such a thing can exist. This means jokes that aren't funny, observations that aren't clever, and views that aren't extraordinary. Keeping up any weblog of personal opinions is inherently presumptuous, but keeping up a weblog with what look like outtakes from an Elks club dinner speech goes well beyond presumption and suggests someone who drinks out of old motor oil cans.
"At first I thought Marciuliano must be part of the wheezy Buchwald generation, one of those queerly sexless boobs who think a long life filled with poor decisions and no important accomplishments demands respect. The retro stylings, retro humor, retro outlook--but Marciuliano appears to be in his thirties--another James Lileks, then. Slightly less annoying, slightly less talented. Chen actually warns his readers that Marciuliano has political views, but they are strictly of the "I'm a fucking retarded English major" variety and are unlikely to offend. It's not like he's going to outwit you or anything. As far as I can tell the only subject he shows signs of mastering is that of comics and cartoons. There's an entire generation like that.
"Marciuliano also writes his own unsyndicated, unread strip. It's terrible, even by newspaper strip standards."
Which brings us to our new slogan:
Drink at Work.com: Queerly Sexless Boobs Since 2003
"But back to the point, Marciuliano's weblog is like the Zen of Art Buchwald, if such a thing can exist. This means jokes that aren't funny, observations that aren't clever, and views that aren't extraordinary. Keeping up any weblog of personal opinions is inherently presumptuous, but keeping up a weblog with what look like outtakes from an Elks club dinner speech goes well beyond presumption and suggests someone who drinks out of old motor oil cans.
"At first I thought Marciuliano must be part of the wheezy Buchwald generation, one of those queerly sexless boobs who think a long life filled with poor decisions and no important accomplishments demands respect. The retro stylings, retro humor, retro outlook--but Marciuliano appears to be in his thirties--another James Lileks, then. Slightly less annoying, slightly less talented. Chen actually warns his readers that Marciuliano has political views, but they are strictly of the "I'm a fucking retarded English major" variety and are unlikely to offend. It's not like he's going to outwit you or anything. As far as I can tell the only subject he shows signs of mastering is that of comics and cartoons. There's an entire generation like that.
"Marciuliano also writes his own unsyndicated, unread strip. It's terrible, even by newspaper strip standards."
Which brings us to our new slogan:
Drink at Work.com: Queerly Sexless Boobs Since 2003
posted by Francesco Marciuliano at 9:06 PM
subscribe to the drink at work newsletter
31 Comments:
where do you get these fabulous reviews? Are we supposed to know who James Lileks is? I don't, but then I was a fucking retarded psych major.
Wow.. that guy can't write..
"keeping up a weblog with what look like outtakes from an Elks club dinner speech goes well beyond presumption and suggests someone who drinks out of old motor oil cans.
Language that is both stale and suggests the author has never quite stopped regretting the end of the 1950's ("outtakes from an Elks club dinner speech" "keeping up a").
Prissy lines that sound lifted from the "regrets" letter of a retiring English diplomat who is afraid his homosexuality or his treason will be revealed ("goes well beyond presumption") .
And then the random non-sequitor ("drinks out of old motor oil cans" - I'm really confused on that one, is he suggesting you can't afford actual mugs to drink from, or that you drink oil? I really can't tell because "old" is a pretty useless way to describe the oil can.. oil doesn't age, does he mean empty? used?).
Silly... someone who had nothing to write and wrote despite that fact...
the good thing is...you got a reveiw. That is worth something.
There are worse things than boobs right?
where the HELL did this come from?
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
James Lileks--see for yourself at www.lileks.com --is a right-wing/Libertarian political columnist who also posts artifacts from the mid-20th century (comics, cookbooks, interior decorating catalogues, stock certificates, advertisements, postcards, children's books, etc.) with humorous commentary. Aside from the fact that it's a humor site on pop culture, it really doesn't have anything in common with Drink at Work. (But I guess the reference makes the reviewer sound erudite?)
Be careful, man. Only fucking retarded English majors use big words like "erudite".
Ces, are you writing to yourself again to create a buzz?
Nah, we just didn't want to give the jackbag any traffic.
Will there be any "I'm a fucking retarded English major" swag in your shop in the near future? If there will be, sign me up for a t-shirt in an XL and a coffee mug.
It could be a backhanded salute to your reviewer because s/he clearly is one of the above.
Though it's not hard to find the site if you really want to. Based on a 90 second sample of the rest of his work, he seems to take pleasure in trashing the work of others. No doubt he thinks his pearls of his critical wisdom rival the best of Shaw or Wilde, but to my jaundiced eye more closely resemble the posthumous musings of Archie Bunker.
My favorite quote was:
" As far as I can tell the only subject he shows signs of mastering is that of comics and cartoons."
Well I guess it is a good thing that you have mastered your chosen profession. Seriously who is old enough to remember oil cans? I see them in movies like Cadillac Man, but in my lifetime they have always come in platic bottle-like contraptions.
Tracey, you're a marketing genius.
At least SOMEONE was an English major.
I think the word "fucking" is misplaced there somehow. "Fucking retarded" reads to me like you have trouble fucking.
What would be better?
"I'm a retarded fucking English major" - I think this is really what he meant.
"I'm a retarded, English fucking major" - probably someone from Napoleon's army.
"I'm a retarded English major fucking" - only works at certain times - for me three or four times in the course of an average day.
And now, my personal favorite:
"I'm fucking a retarded English major."
Which really is the only way she'll get an A.
Army wife, everything's worse than boobs.
I found the site in question. I'd have to say that even your least funny cartoon is wayyyy funnier than that guy's best stuff. lame, lame, lame
Jodi: James Lileks writes a tiresome RW blog, but his reviews and comments about old cookbooks had me in tears from laughing so much. Google "The Gallery of Regrettable Food"
"... but to my jaundiced eye more closely resemble the posthumous musings of Archie Bunker."
Indeed, but not as coherent. My man "Udolpho" needs some serious anger-management classes. That, and some whole-bran cereal.
P.S. You could do a lot worse than being compared with Art Buchwald, but that was way out of left field, too. I mean, WTF? Why Buchwald?
Dontcha just loooove smug little fucks like this guy? He's probably one those hacks who stares at Ces's writing and is either pissed he didn't think of it first or, more likely, says "I don't get it," an awful lot.
You are my hero, dachipster. Your version of "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" is the one I want on my bookshelf.
I'm in love with anyone who has a "Classics" section of his blog.
"What do you read?"
"Oh the classics -- The Odyssey, Aristophanes' The Birds, 'Why Geeks Have Bad Taste' on some IT guy's blog. You know, the usual."
"Hey, do you know John Doe, the cultural critic? He must be REAL smart...he doesn't like LOTS of stuff...I mean, if you suck THAT much joy out of the world, you have to be important, right?"
Dick.
My favorite part is "[k]eeping up any weblog of personal opinions is inherently presumptuous..." Um..., so you're.... Right.
Sign me up for a FREM shirt.
Jenn
I want a shirt, too, but at the risk of exposing my constant desire for things to be all about me, I'd love to see white on a black longsleeve T.
As a follow-up to Jenn, let me just stress that the guy writes blog entries complaining about geeks. That is like a guy blowing an entire football team to protest homosexuals. It makes very little sense.
Regarding t-shirts: I'm on the case. Looking at using a different company that has more shirt options (including white printing on black shirts).
Quick poll:
What are you more likely to wear:
"I am a fucking retarded English major"
"I am a f*cking retarded English major"
or
"I am a *!#%^@ retarded English major"
"I'm a fucking retarded English major" for me. The kind of clubs I hang out in they'd mock me mercilessly if I tried to wear something with masked vulgarity.
"I am a fucking retarded English major"
please!
- me
How about:
"I'm a fucking retardid English majer"
I major in english at san jose state university.
Post a Comment
<< Home