Comic Strip Writing 101: In the Meantime, Full-Time
First, allow me to address the following copy from Welcome to the Blog, an aggregation of blog links that very kindly highlighted this site among others:
"This link leads to a blog co-written by the bitter, drunken author and illustrator of 'Sally Forth.'"
First, I'm not bitter. I'm narrowly reflective. Second, while I do write "Sally Forth," I do not illustrate it. And third, I'm not drunk. Well, not now. Not yet, anyway.
Having said that, let's begin...
Lesson Seven: Working While Working on Your Work.
During the course of penning "Comic Strip Writing 101" I have received numerous emails from inquisitive readers, featuring such questions as:
What's the difference between a "serial killer" and a "spree killer"? I want to make sure I have a clearly defined career objective.
Is it feed a cold and starve a fever? Or vice versa? Or should I just forget my sick brat all together and take that Jitney bus to the Hamptons like I had planned for the weekend?
I want to be my own boss. How do I best assume her identity? Please note that I am open to all suggestions, including facial graft.
Do you remember me? I'm the one who chased you to your apartment building a few minutes back and am now sitting outside your bedroom window, emailing you by Wi-Fi.
How tall should the statue of Our Glorious Leader George Walker Bush be? 1,000 feet? 10,000 feet? Or so tall that it pokes out the very eye of God?
But perhaps the question I receive most is:
How do I earn a living while trying to earn money from my comic strip?
Of course, what these people really mean to ask is: "Goddamn it, do I really have to go into an office every day until I hit it big in cartooning?" And, of course, the answer is a resounding and most assuredly none-too-cheery "Yes."
You see, everyone has to pay their dues. I myself toiled in Corporate America for many, many years, eventually fooling and bribing enough people to score the gig of "Copy Supervisor" at this publication. (By the way, anyone who is interested in blogs would do well to read the May 2 issue cover story.) In fact, I still write copy for them to this very day on a freelance basis, which shows that until you start making the "BC" bucks, you'll probably always have to handle several revenue streams at once.
Which is by no means a bad thing. But as you may know, many people who wish to pursue a career in the arts often neglect to refine their corporate business skills, if only because they assume that they will never have to work for "The Man" (or "The Men," should the CEO have been recently deposed and the company is now under the aegis of a phalanx of board directors, attorneys and outside auditors). Alas, such is almost never the case. Rarely is success instantaneous and even the curriculum vitae of some of the most accomplished cartoonists, writers, artists, musicians and actors in the world prominently feature such words as "administrative assistant," "copywriter" and "paper shredder."
But for all those who have yet to make it big in their craft but have yet to take that necessary first step into office life, fear not. For below I have provided a list of all the items I found to be "must-haves" when working 8 to 8 ("9 to 5" is only a movie title now, people, not an actual business timetable). Hopefully they will make your stint in the corporate world--blessedly brief as you no doubt wish it to be--as easy and enjoyable as possible:
1. Pens: While my contemporaries tout the wonders of the "paperless office," I still believe nothing can beat an old-fashioned writing implement, whether it's for doodling nonsense on pads during meetings, scrawling my name over and over again on my desk to ensure ownership, drawing skulls on my arm so I can look tough at bars or simply dragging against the wall while walking around the office so I could always find my way back to my cubicle, even while riding the elevator or leaving the building for lunch.
2. Surge Protectors: Not only do they prevent electrical mishaps from wiping your hard drive clean but they also allowed me to simultaneously operate a space heater, hot plate, motorized tie rack, Aurora racetrack, popcorn popper, rock tumbler, 33rpm record player, Lite Brite, hair crimper and Yamaha electronic keyboard (permanently set to "rumba" beat) safely and securely under my desk.
3. Racing Stripes: Nothing made it seem like I was the fastest worker in the department than racing stripes along the sides of my cubicle. And for those times when I wanted to look extra speedy, I attached an ambulance siren on top of my computer monitor and constantly yelled, "Out of my way!" After all, to be a success in business you have to look like a success.
4. A Gross of Staplers: How many times did a coworker shout, "Stapler fight!" only for me to discover I had absolutely nothing to throw at anyone? Well, with 144 staplers at the ready not only was I well prepared for such an eventuality but I even had enough left over to randomly hurl out the window during project lulls.
5. One Chatty Cathy Doll: Because by my third week of employment people usually stopped visiting my cubicle or inviting me out to lunch, so I needed the company.
Monday: Comic Strip Writing 101--Dealing with the Business of Business before You Can Finally Get Down to Business
"This link leads to a blog co-written by the bitter, drunken author and illustrator of 'Sally Forth.'"
First, I'm not bitter. I'm narrowly reflective. Second, while I do write "Sally Forth," I do not illustrate it. And third, I'm not drunk. Well, not now. Not yet, anyway.
Having said that, let's begin...
Lesson Seven: Working While Working on Your Work.
During the course of penning "Comic Strip Writing 101" I have received numerous emails from inquisitive readers, featuring such questions as:
What's the difference between a "serial killer" and a "spree killer"? I want to make sure I have a clearly defined career objective.
Is it feed a cold and starve a fever? Or vice versa? Or should I just forget my sick brat all together and take that Jitney bus to the Hamptons like I had planned for the weekend?
I want to be my own boss. How do I best assume her identity? Please note that I am open to all suggestions, including facial graft.
Do you remember me? I'm the one who chased you to your apartment building a few minutes back and am now sitting outside your bedroom window, emailing you by Wi-Fi.
How tall should the statue of Our Glorious Leader George Walker Bush be? 1,000 feet? 10,000 feet? Or so tall that it pokes out the very eye of God?
But perhaps the question I receive most is:
How do I earn a living while trying to earn money from my comic strip?
Of course, what these people really mean to ask is: "Goddamn it, do I really have to go into an office every day until I hit it big in cartooning?" And, of course, the answer is a resounding and most assuredly none-too-cheery "Yes."
You see, everyone has to pay their dues. I myself toiled in Corporate America for many, many years, eventually fooling and bribing enough people to score the gig of "Copy Supervisor" at this publication. (By the way, anyone who is interested in blogs would do well to read the May 2 issue cover story.) In fact, I still write copy for them to this very day on a freelance basis, which shows that until you start making the "BC" bucks, you'll probably always have to handle several revenue streams at once.
Which is by no means a bad thing. But as you may know, many people who wish to pursue a career in the arts often neglect to refine their corporate business skills, if only because they assume that they will never have to work for "The Man" (or "The Men," should the CEO have been recently deposed and the company is now under the aegis of a phalanx of board directors, attorneys and outside auditors). Alas, such is almost never the case. Rarely is success instantaneous and even the curriculum vitae of some of the most accomplished cartoonists, writers, artists, musicians and actors in the world prominently feature such words as "administrative assistant," "copywriter" and "paper shredder."
But for all those who have yet to make it big in their craft but have yet to take that necessary first step into office life, fear not. For below I have provided a list of all the items I found to be "must-haves" when working 8 to 8 ("9 to 5" is only a movie title now, people, not an actual business timetable). Hopefully they will make your stint in the corporate world--blessedly brief as you no doubt wish it to be--as easy and enjoyable as possible:
1. Pens: While my contemporaries tout the wonders of the "paperless office," I still believe nothing can beat an old-fashioned writing implement, whether it's for doodling nonsense on pads during meetings, scrawling my name over and over again on my desk to ensure ownership, drawing skulls on my arm so I can look tough at bars or simply dragging against the wall while walking around the office so I could always find my way back to my cubicle, even while riding the elevator or leaving the building for lunch.
2. Surge Protectors: Not only do they prevent electrical mishaps from wiping your hard drive clean but they also allowed me to simultaneously operate a space heater, hot plate, motorized tie rack, Aurora racetrack, popcorn popper, rock tumbler, 33rpm record player, Lite Brite, hair crimper and Yamaha electronic keyboard (permanently set to "rumba" beat) safely and securely under my desk.
3. Racing Stripes: Nothing made it seem like I was the fastest worker in the department than racing stripes along the sides of my cubicle. And for those times when I wanted to look extra speedy, I attached an ambulance siren on top of my computer monitor and constantly yelled, "Out of my way!" After all, to be a success in business you have to look like a success.
4. A Gross of Staplers: How many times did a coworker shout, "Stapler fight!" only for me to discover I had absolutely nothing to throw at anyone? Well, with 144 staplers at the ready not only was I well prepared for such an eventuality but I even had enough left over to randomly hurl out the window during project lulls.
5. One Chatty Cathy Doll: Because by my third week of employment people usually stopped visiting my cubicle or inviting me out to lunch, so I needed the company.
Monday: Comic Strip Writing 101--Dealing with the Business of Business before You Can Finally Get Down to Business
posted by Francesco Marciuliano at 11:11 AM
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2 Comments:
Stapler fight!
I'd marry someone for less.
Funny.
I apologize for not doing my homework. That post was written incredibly quickly on the heels of a traumatic accident involving a lucky bamboo plant and an Onkyo stereo receiver. It's all the bamboo's fault.
I updated the post. Sorry again.
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